But I can see through Mummy. Oh yes. A tiger, coming to tea and eating everything in the house, even drinking Daddy’s beer and eating the supper cooking in the saucepan? Right.
After my 94th reading I realised the truth. Mummy is an alcoholic – and no wonder, stuck at home having to make high tea with cake and buns and sandwiches for her daughter every day. One day it all got too much and she drank all Daddy’s beer and didn’t bother cooking as she’d had enough of lockdown drudgery.
When Daddy finally came home she and Sophie concocted a ridiculous story about a tiger, and Daddy, who never really listens, just went along with it and took them to a restaurant, where under Rishi Sunak’s Eat Out scheme, they all got money off their bill. And they didn’t have to wear masks.
Oh wait, I think I might have mixed that up with my autobiography.
Simoney Kyriakou is editor of Financial Adviser
